Friday, September 10, 2010

I'm Not That Mom

I'm not that mom. . . . who tells her children they can't touch the piano simply because they can't "play a song" yet.  (I'm the kind of mom who can hear the music.)

I'm not that mom. . . . who leaves her kids for "me time" a couple of times a week when they're still so precious and small.  (I'm the kind of mom having slumber parties on the living room floor every Saturday night.) 

I'm not that mom. . . . who listens to her baby crying in her crib because she has to learn to sleep on my schedule and stop "intentionally manipulating".  (I'm the kind of mom who snuggles my baby to sleep at night and soothes her when needed-- even if it's "just for attention".)

I'm not that mom. . . . who automatically replies, "Because I said so!" when her son asks, "Why?".  (I'm the kind of mom taking painstaking care to explain photosynthesis to a four year old.)

I'm not that mom. . . . who ignores her own instincts or thoughts about her child because everyone else is doing things a certain way or telling her she should.  (I'm the kind of mom going by "first, do no harm" and researching or seeking out better ways because parents can learn just as much as their kids.)

I'm not that mom. . . . who uses force for punishment against her children or calls them names, even if they are misbehaving.  (I'm the kind of mom putting other things on hold to talk it out and mend the reason behind the reaction with gentle guidance and respectful discipline.)

I'm not that mom. . . . whose house is always enviously clean because the kids can't even take out their toys.  (I'm the kind of mom who doesn't mind playing the evil dragon locked in the cardboard fortress, who pulls out the face paints on random days, and who has more than her fair share of battle wounds from stepping on wayward wooden blocks.)

I'm not that mom. . . . who is up to date, up to the minute, on the latest gossip and drama circulating online and in real life.  (I am the kind of mom with a backed up inbox of e-mails I just can't get to, and who will silence the ringer on the phone until we finish the next chapter. . . or two.)

I'm not that mom. . . . who looks perfect every day, with gorgeously styled hair no toddler's hands have tangled and high heels that click so precisely below unflawed thighs.  (I'm the kind of mom who settles most days for a pony tail, and whose tee shirts and jeans often bear the tell tale peanut butter finger smudges of embraces unencumbered by that day's choice of fabric.)

I'm not that mom. . . . who pretends that parents can't make mistakes or do anything wrong where a child is concerned.  (I'm the kind of mom who admits when I do err and apologizes, because children deserve as much respect and dignity from adults as other grownups do.)

I'm not that mom. . . . who mainstream society points to as the ultimate goal for motherhood, who most women wish they were like, who is completely sure of herself one hundred percent of the time.  (I'm the kind of mom whose children see her as their unconditionally loving protector, who will not have regrets over missing out on moments with her children, and who will never stop learning and looking for every new opportunity to love them.)


  1. I just wanted to say that I love this!

  2. Thank you, Amanda! I'm just getting started here and your comment means a lot to me. :-)

  3. Love it! Sharing you on my Facebook page!

  4. I really needed to read this today, and I thank you so much for writing it down and putting it out here for all of us 'other' moms.

  5. This goes so nicely with the "I'm That Mom" impromptu blog carnival we had a while back. You can find links to all the amazing peaceful parenting entries on this post:

  6. So perfectly written. I loved it! My philosophy exactly!

  7. I'm not that mom either. Thank you for posting this.

  8. Just lovely! I hope you don't mind that I "shared" this on my FB page, too - it was too good not to! :)

  9. I'm not that mom either. ;)

    Thanks for sharing your heart.

  10. sharing on FB too.. thank you!!!!

  11. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! You have me crying!